Poor Bablu & Pappu

There is a classroom of some small children (5-7yrs),

With a genius boy ( Bablu ) and a smart one (Pappu).

The dialogue between the two and the teacher goes something like this:

Bablu: "Teacher, teacher! Is Bus male or female?

Teacher : Thinking.... ...

Pappu: "Teacher, teacher! It is female"

Bablu : "Kyon?"

Pappu: "Kyon ki sab log uspe chadte hain."

Teacher is pareshan. While Bablu gets in doubt.

Bablu: "Agar bus female hai aur sab uspe chadte hain to uske bacche kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is more pareshan.

Pappu: "Kyon ki sab us par peeche se chadte hain."

Teacher is now hiding her face.Bablu gets another doubt.

Bablu: "Maana sabhi peeche se chadte hain, but driver aur conductor to aagay se chadte hain. Phir bachche kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is sweating as it is getting too much to handle.

Pappu replies : "Kyon ki who dono topi pehanke chadte hain."

Teacher faints !!!!!!!

Misunderstanding

Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his
neck:

"I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!

The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't
tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy
because the electricity bill has not been paid.

" Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma? "

"Yes... speaking"

Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Reliance guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files ...HOW?????"

" Yes ............ . We have a system of finding out who's overdue "

" GOD!!!!!!... ...... This is too much........ .."

"Madam, I am sorry... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are
overdue"

"I know that ... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. .... He will
speak to your company tomorrow "

That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull,
rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?

What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Reliance, "it's nothing
serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

Akbar ke Darbar

Ek baar, Akbar ke darbar mein ek randi ne mujra kiya. Woh item badi hi KANTEELI NACHANIYA thi. Itni sollid wo naachi ke sabke tatte tight ho gaye. Akbar bahut khush ho gaya. Usne randi ko kaha, "Jamnabai, bol tujhe kya inaam chahiye meri jaan? Sona-chandi, heere-moti, jaageer... kya chahiye, bol. Agar teri kisise dushmani ho to bhi bataa de... uski behen chod di jayegi."

Randi muh maange inaam ki baat sunke bahut khush hui. Par woh bahut hi bhenchod kism ki aurat thi. Uske gandu dimaag mein to kuch aur hi tha. Woh Akbar se boli, "Jahanpanah, jaan ki salaamat mile to kuch arz karoon". Akbar waise hi uske naach pe bahut senti tha. Woh bola,"Jo marzi maang, Jamna darling. Randi boli,
“Jahanpanah, mujhe aapki raajgaddi pe tatti karni hai."

Pehle to Akbar ko samajh hi nahin aaya ki kya yeh randi BAWLI GAAND to nahin ho gayelii hai? Lekin woh maNaa bhi nahin kar sak rella tha... chutiya promise jo kar baithella tha. Usne randi ko kuch aur maangne ke liye kaha, par randi bhi bahut shaani thi... woh nahin maani. Akbar bhi bechara kya karta, usne 15 din baad ki date de di. Usne socha ki baad mein randi pe pressure dalwa ke cancel karwa doonga, par bhen ki laudi maan hi nahi relli thi.

Jab Tatti-day nazdeek aa gaya , Akbar ki gaand bahut zyaada phat gayi... usne us waqt Birbal ko yaad kiya. Usne Birbal se kaha ki “Boss, ab mughal sultanat ki izzat us ke haath mein hai”. Birbal ne bhi Akbar ko promise kar diya ki chaahe usey apni maa gali-gali chudwaani pade, woh mughal sultanat ki izzat pe aanch nahin aane dega. Akbar bhi nischint ho gaya.

Finally Tatti-day aa gaya. Akbar to raat bhar so bhi nahin saka. Bhenchod ki khud ki tatti band ho gayi. Subah-subah randi ne darbaar mein grand entrance maara. Kehne lagi, "Jahanpanah, main teen din se nahin hagi hoon... jaldi se raajgaddi pe
tatti karne ki vyawastha kijiye." Akbar ne phatti gaand ke saath Birbal ki taraf
dekha. Birbal to shaana hus-hi-hus rella tha. Apni seat se khada hua aur bola, "Jamnabai, tu ne tatti karne ki demand ki thi... so karo. Lekin agar ek boond bhi moot nikal aaya to yeh talwaar ****** mein ghusa ke gaand se nikaal doonga."

Randi ko samajh aa gayaki is baar uska paala kisi andu pandu se nahin, Birbal se pada hai. Bhosadiki chup-chaap apni badi gaand uthake ghar chali gayi.

Ek baar phir birbal the great behen ke lode ne mughal saltanet ke gaand phatne se bachali...

Akbar aur Birbal

Ek baar, Akbar ke darbar mein ek randi ne mujra kiya. Woh item badi hi KANTEELI NACHANIYA thi. Itni sollid wo naachi ke sabke tatte tight ho gaye. Akbar bahut khush ho gaya. Usne randi ko kaha, "Jamnabai, bol tujhe kya inaam chahiye meri jaan? Sona-chandi, heere-moti, jaageer... kya chahiye, bol. Agar teri kisise dushmani ho to bhi bataa de... uski behen chod di jayegi."

Randi muh maange inaam ki baat sunke bahut khush hui. Par woh bahut hi bhenchod kism ki aurat thi. Uske gandu dimaag mein to kuch aur hi tha. Woh Akbar se boli, "Jahanpanah, jaan ki salaamat mile to kuch arz karoon". Akbar waise hi uske naach pe bahut senti tha. Woh bola,"Jo marzi maang, Jamna darling. Randi boli,
“Jahanpanah, mujhe aapki raajgaddi pe tatti karni hai."

Pehle to Akbar ko samajh hi nahin aaya ki kya yeh randi BAWLI GAAND to nahin ho gayelii hai? Lekin woh maNaa bhi nahin kar sak rella tha... chutiya promise jo kar baithella tha. Usne randi ko kuch aur maangne ke liye kaha, par randi bhi bahut shaani thi... woh nahin maani. Akbar bhi bechara kya karta, usne 15 din baad ki date de di. Usne socha ki baad mein randi pe pressure dalwa ke cancel karwa doonga, par bhen ki laudi maan hi nahi relli thi.

Jab Tatti-day nazdeek aa gaya , Akbar ki gaand bahut zyaada phat gayi... usne us waqt Birbal ko yaad kiya. Usne Birbal se kaha ki “Boss, ab mughal sultanat ki izzat us ke haath mein hai”. Birbal ne bhi Akbar ko promise kar diya ki chaahe usey apni maa gali-gali chudwaani pade, woh mughal sultanat ki izzat pe aanch nahin aane dega. Akbar bhi nischint ho gaya.

Finally Tatti-day aa gaya. Akbar to raat bhar so bhi nahin saka. Bhenchod ki khud ki tatti band ho gayi. Subah-subah randi ne darbaar mein grand entrance maara. Kehne lagi, "Jahanpanah, main teen din se nahin hagi hoon... jaldi se raajgaddi pe
tatti karne ki vyawastha kijiye." Akbar ne phatti gaand ke saath Birbal ki taraf
dekha. Birbal to shaana hus-hi-hus rella tha. Apni seat se khada hua aur bola, "Jamnabai, tu ne tatti karne ki demand ki thi... so karo. Lekin agar ek boond bhi moot nikal aaya to yeh talwaar ****** mein ghusa ke gaand se nikaal doonga."

Randi ko samajh aa gayaki is baar uska paala kisi andu pandu se nahin, Birbal se pada hai. Bhosadiki chup-chaap apni badi gaand uthake ghar chali gayi.

Ek baar phir birbal the great behen ke lode ne mughal saltanet ke gaand phatne se bachali...

Hindi Adult Joke

ट्रेन में पत्नी पती से बोली - आज हमारी शादी की सालगिरह है कुछ करो ना पती - तुमने देखा नही सामने क्या लिखा है?पत्नी - नही क्या?पती- लिखा है चलती ट्रेन में चढना मना है

एक बार एक छोटा बच्चा मस्ती करते करते अपने पैरेंट्स के कमरे में चला गया वहाँ पर उसने जो देखा वो देख के बच्चा चमक गया और जोर से चिल्लाया...मम्मी खुद को देखो और मुझे सिर्फ आंगूठा चूसने पे मारती हों

मल्लिका शेरावत ने केमिस्ट से पूछा - 15 इंच का कॉंडम है ?केमिस्ट - हाँ है ना कितने दू ?मल्लिका शेरावत - अभी नही , कोई उसे लेने आए तो मुझे कॉल करना

सरदार - ये रोज रोज कॉंडम लगाने का क्या चक्कर है, मै तो परेशान हों गया हूँ सरदारनी - तुम लेमिनेशन क्यू नही करवा लेते???


एक आदमी ने बडे ही मूड में वेटर से कहा यार वेटर एक सेक्सी चाय पिला दे ....वेटर - सॉरी सर लेकिन हमारे यहाँ चाय गाय के दूध की बनती है बिपाशा के नही