Shamepain

Scene: Ajeet comes to know about the traitor in his gang.

Ajeet: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara to Pain se mar jayega.

Test Match

Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?

Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.

Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.

Raabert: Yes Boss.

Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai .......

Hamara Mehman

Scene: Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...

Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai. Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !

India Bids For Channel Tunnel

When tenders were floated for the channel tunnel to connect England & France, many international building companies vied with one another to get the contract. The stakes were very high; the job of digging building expertise. Tenders were opened by the Board of Directors of the Anglo-French corporation which had taken on the project. British builders' estimates were over 200 million dollar, each; French & German builders were marginally lower.
There was one from India: Singh & Singh Builders whose estimate was only 5 million dollars. The Board was for ignoring the Indian tender but out of curiosity invited Singh & Singh over to discuss the plans.
Banta Singh & Santa Singh of Singh & Singh Builders appeared before the Board.
The Chairman asked them "Have you any experience of undertaking this kind of work?"
"Indeed we have," replied the two Singhs, "we bored a lot of tubewells in the Punjab & Haryana. We can bore holes anywhere."
"This is not as simple. How will you connect the tunnel from the English side to the French?" "Simple," replied Santa Singh, "Banta Singh will dig from the French end & I from the English."
The Chairman was flabbergasted. "You don't realise that it will need a lot of accurate calculation to get the two tunnels to meet at the same point under the channel. Other companies' estimates are over 200 million dollars each & you think you can do the same job for 5 million dollars. How will that be possible?"
"What is bothering you?" demanded Singh & Singh, "if our two tunnels don't meet, instead of one we will give you two tunnels.

Varnish Mein Daal Do

Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy

Ajeet: "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi aa jaayegi.

Nurse At Lunatic Asylum

A Haryanavi youth spied a pretty girl at the bus stand. Since no one was around, he tried to use a tone of familiarity, "Jaan-e-man - my heart's desire," he addressed her, "aisee laagey sai, aap ko pehley kahin dekha sai." "Jaroor deykha sai - you must have seen me," replied the lady, "I am a nurse at the lunatic asylum."

Sense Of Humour

Winston Churchill & Abraham Lincoln are both famous for their wit & superb sense of humour. Once they happened to meet on a staircase which was not wide enough for both of them to pass. Churchill stood in the middle of it & said to Lincoln, "I don't give way to a fool." Lincoln promptly stepped aside, allowing Churchill to move & replied, "Well but I do, your excellency."