Whistle?

Pouring out his troubles to his great and good friend over a couple of triple Martinis, Brad had to confess that things weren't going too well at home.
"My wife and I just don't hit it off at night," he was saying to Bart. "I hate to admit it, but I'm afraid I just don't know how to make her happy."
"Hell, boy," said Bart, "there's really nothing to it. Let me give you some advice. At bedtime, switch on a new Sinatra platter, turn all the lights low and spray some perfume around the room. Next tell your wife to get into her sheerest nightie; then make sure you raise the bottom window."
"Then what do I do?" asked Brad.
"Just whistle."
"Whistle?"
"That's right. I'll be waiting outside the window. When I hear you whistle, I'll come right up and finish the job."

The Haze And Warmth Of The Summer Evening

The haze and warmth of the summer evening added to the atmosphere of passion on the small lake, deserted except for a canoe drifting lazily on its surface. In it, clasped in close embrace, lay George and Marilyn, gazing into each other's eyes and murmuring the special phrases of lovers.
With a delicious silken rustle that set the canoe to gently rocking, she pressed herself still closer to him.
"Georgie," she sighed, "will you love me always?" "Of course, my darling," he whispered tenderly. "Which way would you like me to try first?"

To Be Good

Sue lay sprawled in sweet exhaustion on the bed, wearing a red ribbon in her bright blonde hair. Beside her, wearing not even a ribbon, Mark slowly lit two cigarettes and passed one to her. For a long moment, smoke and silence hung in the air. Then:
"My mother always told me to be good," Sue said with a little smile. "Was I?"

Newlywed Fred

Conversation at the club had turned to sex and the techniques thereof.
"But should I talk to my wife while making love?" asked newlywed Fred.
"Certainly," counseled an older member, "if you happen to be near a phone."

Accident

"How did this accident occur?" asked the doctor.
"Well," explained the patient, "I was making love to my girl on the living-room rug when, all of a sudden, the chandelier came crashing down on us."
"Fortunately, you've only sustained some minor lacerations on your buttocks," the doctor said. "I think you're a very lucky man."
"You said it, doc," exclaimed the man. "A minute sooner and it could have fractured my skull."

Long-Haired Drummer

Stepping off the bandstand at a psychedelic discotheque, the long-haired drummer approached a miniskirted chick and asked if she'd like to join him for a steak dinner. "No, I'm a vegetarian," she confided. "Vegetables are the only thing I eat."
"Well, then, let's go to my pad," he offered. "I'm a humanitarian."

A Raging Blizzard

After trying to fix a flat tire during a raging blizzard, the young man jumped back into the car with his date and began rubbing his nearly frozen hands. "Let me warm them for you," she offered, placing his hands between her thighs.
When his fingers had thawed out, the chap rushed back to continue working on the tire, but he quickly returned again, complaining that his hands were numb with cold. As he reached under her skirt, she slid forward and whispered ecstatically, "Darling, aren't your ears cold, too?"

Talented Young Man

Upon applying for admission to one of the most exclusive country clubs in New England, the rather reserved, unimpressive looking young man was notified that he must play a round of golf with the club officers as a prerequisite to his acceptance.
On the appointed afternoon, he met them on the first tee equipped with a hockey stick, a croquet mallet and a billiard cue. The officers looked him over incredulously, but nevertheless proceeded to tee off. To their dismay, the young man coolly drove three hundred and ten yards with the hockey stick, gracefully arched his second shot to the green with the croquet mallet, and sank a twenty-foot putt with the billiard cue.
After soundly drubbing the baffled officers with a sub-par sixty-eight, the applicant retired with them to the club bar. There he ordered a Scotch and soda, and when it arrived, he mixed the drink himself by tossing the contents of the shot glass over his shoulder into the waiting soda behind him on the bar. This further display of the young man's incredible physical coordination was too much for the officers of the club.
"You're miraculous," they exclaimed. "What's the story behind these fantastic talents of yours?"
"All my life," the man explained, "physical activity of any sort has been child's play for me. To overcome the boredom that has resulted from my monotonous mastery of everything, I try to do almost everything in the most difficult way possible. Thus, I play tennis with a Ping-Pong paddle, Ping-Pong with a tennis racket, and so on."
"Wait a minute," interrupted one of the club officers. "If it's true, as you say, that you do everything physical in the most difficult manner possible, I have one question. ..."
"I know," said the talented young man, smiling. "Everyone asks me the same thing and I don't mind telling you. Standing tip ... in a hammock."

The Pretty Patient

The pretty patient nervously asked the doctor to perform an unusual operation—the removal of a large chunk of green wax from her navel. Looking up from the ticklish task, the physician asked, "How did this happen?"
"Well, you see, doctor," the girl said, "my boyfriend likes to eat by candlelight."

The Shapely Coed

The shapely coed was undressing for the night when she noticed a puzzled look on her roommate's face. "Do you know there's the impression of a large M on your stomach?" the roommate asked.
"My fiance's in town this weekend," confided the young th: "and he likes to make love with his football-letter sweater on."
"Which school does he attend, Michigan or Minnesota?" qt tioned her friend.
"Neither," giggled the first girl. "He goes to Wisconsin."