Getting Noticed

A man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. After a couple of sips he looked up and saw a woman sitting at the end of the bar. He called the bartender over and said he'd like to buy the lady a drink. The bartender said, "Listen pal, let me save you some trouble. She's a lesbian."

The man took a second, thought it over, shrugged his shoulders and said, "That's okay, I'd like to buy her a drink anyway."

So the bartender brought the woman her drink. The woman lifted her glass and gave our hero a nod of thanks. Encouraged, he got up from his bar stool and sauntered over to the woman. As he was sitting down on the stool next to her, he asked, "So, which part of Lesbia are you from?"

Travelling Nuns

A bus load of nuns was travelling to see the Pope, and they had to make an overnight stop at a small inn on the way. The inn was nearly full, but there was enough room for the nuns if they went two to a room.

One couple had to share a double bed in a room. One of these two nuns turned to the other who was sharing with her and said, "Can I be frank with you? I'm a lesbian; I hope that doesn't make you feel too uncomfortable."

The other nun said back, "No - but if you're Frank tonight, can I be Frank tomorrow

Getting Noticed

A man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. After a couple of sips he looked up and saw a woman sitting at the end of the bar. He called the bartender over and said he'd like to buy the lady a drink. The bartender said, "Listen pal, let me save you some trouble. She's a lesbian."

The man took a second, thought it over, shrugged his shoulders and said, "That's okay, I'd like to buy her a drink anyway."

So the bartender brought the woman her drink. The woman lifted her glass and gave our hero a nod of thanks. Encouraged, he got up from his bar stool and sauntered over to the woman. As he was sitting down on the stool next to her, he asked, "So, which part of Lesbia are you from?"

Travelling Nuns

A bus load of nuns was travelling to see the Pope, and they had to make an overnight stop at a small inn on the way. The inn was nearly full, but there was enough room for the nuns if they went two to a room.

One couple had to share a double bed in a room. One of these two nuns turned to the other who was sharing with her and said, "Can I be frank with you? I'm a lesbian; I hope that doesn't make you feel too uncomfortable."

The other nun said back, "No - but if you're Frank tonight, can I be Frank tomorrow night?"

Why should we feel bad for the gay homeless population?

Q: Why should we feel bad for the gay homeless population?
A: None of them have closets to come out of.

What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic?

Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic?
A: Snap-on tools!

A popular whore house was visited by a lesbian

A popular whore house was visited by a lesbian. The lesbian requested a 15 year old, and the madam replied "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors to lickers."

Two gay male lovers

Two gay male lovers were talking and Bob says to Jon, "I wish I had chest hair like you" So the next day Bob goes to the doctor and asks for something to grow chest hair. The doctor gives him something and he says "It will work in about two months." Two months later Bob has no hair on his chest and back to the doctor he goes. The Doctor says, 'Rub some Vaseline on your chest, and in a week you will be growing hair.' Jon comes home that day seeing Bob rub Vaseline and asks "Why?" Bob says "to grow chest hair" Jon says if Vaseline grows hair you would have a ponytail comin' out your ass!"

A straight guy and a gay are in the men's room

A straight guy and a gay are in the men's room and the straight guy has his shirt unbuttoned exposing a heavy coat of chest hair. The gay asked how he came to have so much hair on his chest. He said, "I put Vaseline on it every night." That night the gay put Vaseline on his chest and went to bed. His partner George said, "What in the hell is that?" "It's to grow hair." he replied. "Bull shit!" said George. "If Vaseline grew hair...I'd have tail a mile long!

Lesbian Bar

How can u spot a tough Lesbian Bar?
Even the pool tables don't have balls.

Perfectly Normal

"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist. "Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are very attached to." "But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel, ummm... *physically* attracted to my horse." "Hmmm," the doctor asked, "Is it male or female?" "Female, of course!" the man replied. "What do you think I am...GAY???"

two lesbians make love

Q. What does it mean when two lesbians make love?
A. It doesn't mean dick.

Two homosexuals

Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to mention that he had gotten circumcised last week. "Can I see it?" asked the second gay guy. So the first guy promptly dropped his pants to show off his operation. "Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"

How do you know if a lesbian is butch?

How do you know if a lesbian is butch? She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons. Sent by Chris

Two condoms walk past a gay bar

Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to the other, "Hey, do you fancy dropping in there and getting shit-faced?"

No time to rest

A group of people were in a shipwreck and were stranded on an island. The group consisted of 12 women and 1 man. After a few months, the women grew horny and it was decided that the man needed to take two women a day and they allowed him to have Sundays off. One day on a day off, he was just relaxing when he noticed a boat nearing. He felt hopeful that maybe they would be rescued, at last. The boat was almost to the island when the guy noticed it was a man in the boat. As he got out the first guy said "Oh my God buddy, am I ever glad to see YOU, To which the second guy responded "Well alright sweetie! It's been a long time for me too." The first man exclaimed "Oh hell, there go my Sundays!"